Burn Your Self Help Books Before They Burn You
Self help books can cause more harm then good. Starting with the basics is the the best way to turn a new leaf. Mindfulness and self affirmation isn't the right place to start. Read this blog post by Enrique Galindo
I am unsure how recent the phenomena of self help books is, but at least for the past decade I have felt them constantly shoved down my throat. There really seems to be at least a dozen per subject: finance, productivity, health, mindfulness. Every aspect of existing as a human can have a self help book slapped onto it. The sales these books receive is outrageous as well. Publisher’s weekly says that *Rich Dad Poor Dad *by Robert Kiyosaki has sold upward of 44 million copies. With all these sales and access to information, why is it that our entire civilization is not walking around with muscles ripping through the clothes on our backs and cash dripping from every pocket? I know that I have given a fair share of these books a try, and I certainly do not mean to say that the content of the books holds no value, but I certainly would not recommend any self help book to the average person looking to turn a new leaf.
The Wrong Starting Point:
When I read *The Four Hour Workweek *by Tim Ferris he spoke a lot about how he went from having his health supplement company ruling his life to having his company give him the freedom to live how he wanted. Certainly an interesting prospect, but never does he go into how he built a company that could create that problem in the first place. A lot of these books give broad examples of success stories, but I have yet to read one that goes into the nitty gritty of anything. No best selling entrepreneurship book I have come across talks about how to write a coherent business plan, how to get a small business loan or seek funding in general, or really how to make the transition from employee to business owner. They all talk about how to fine tune your life to make you super efficient with your time. They talk about how valuable mindfulness is for your mental health and well being. They talk about these micro changes a person can make to be ultra successful.
Most people I know, including myself, cannot manage to get a consistent seven hours of sleep at night. All of a sudden these self affirmations are expected to fix a life with a bad foundation? As many of these books suggest, let us do a quick thought exercise. Imagine you own a home and there is a hole the size of a basketball in your ceiling. It sure would be a lot of work to fix that hole. You would need someone to patch the drywall, maybe they will have to re-insulate, and you will have to get it sealed and get new shingles. It’s probably going to cost a pretty penny. You begin to think maybe it is not worth having a house with hole like this. I will just sell it! So you begin the process of selling your house, and you get a much lower appraisal than you expected, probably because of the basketball sized hole in the ceiling. You google “easy ways to raise the value of your home”, and find that houses with green bathrooms sell for ten percent more than those without (I am making this up and have no real idea how the color of your bathroom impacts the value of your home). Well, that is an easy fix. A gallon of paint and set of rollers is only forty dollars at the Lowe’s down the road! You paint your bathroom green, and you get the house reappraised. The appraisal comes back, and you look at it excitedly to see that ten percent increase. You are shocked to find that the value actually went down. How could this happen? Well, while you were painting your bathroom there were actually rolling thunderstorms in the area that added water damage to the list of issues on top of the basketball sized hole in the ceiling.
Green bathrooms might sell better than non green bathrooms, but that does not mean it is advice that will impact every housing situation. The statements and recommendations included in these books come with a lot of assumptions that may not relate to a person’s current situation. I would venture to say that if a person is just starting their self improvement journey it is more than likely that it will not apply to their current situation. Plus, these books do not usually include a preface listing the behaviors and practices someone must already have under their belt before it makes sense to tackle the material included.
Self Help Can Have The Opposite Effect:
Similar to adding too much weight to a workout before establishing good form, following through on these practices can be more harmful than helpful. The issue is that “in times of doubt and uncertainty, many people turn to self-help books in search of encouragement, guidance and self-affirmation” (The Telegraph). Since it seems like a rather prolific place to turn to for help, Psychologists were curious to see what kind of impact the practices suggested had on people. “Canadian psychologists Joanne Wood and John Lee, the University of Waterloo, in Ontario, and Elaine Perunovic, from the University of New Brunswick, asked participants with low self-esteem and high self-esteem to repeat the self-help book phrase ‘I am a lovable person’” (The Telegraph). Following the expression of this statement experts “measured the participants’ moods and their momentary feelings about themselves. It turned out that individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. Individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement” (The Telegraph).
The kinds of people that likely seek out these books for guidance came out feeling worse after practicing what the book instructed. Again, I do not want to say that the content of these books has no value. I think this study also shows that there is a subset of people that are positively impacted. What I want to say is that it is probably not the right place for the average person to start.
Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS):
My high school SAT tutor would repeat this phrase endlessly, and for good reason. People tend to over complicate the problems in front of them. While this phrase certainly extends beyond this issue, I think it is a good one to keep in mind here. I have put a list of questions together, a checklist of sorts, to help determine when you might be ready to seek out one of these fine tuning strategy guides. It is in no particular order.
Basic:
- Do I get enough sleep each night?
- Do I eat enough each day?
- Do I complete the tasks I say I will?
- Do I move my body each week? (minimum recommendation is a 20 min brisk walk thrice a week)
- Do I keep up on my personal hygiene?
Challenge:
- Do I go to bed at a reasonable time? (The “sweet spot” is said to be between 10 and 11 PM according to Bob Curley)
- Do I eat the right foods each day?
- Do I begin working on tasks when I say I will?
- Do I move my body enough each week (CDC recommends 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity and 2 days of muscle strengthening activity)
- Do I keep the spaces I exist in orderly?
These bullets read very simply, but depending where one is in their life management journey it could seem very daunting to even tackle the basics. Wherever you may be is okay. I will be the first to say my checklist certainly is not complete, and it is just fine to start with a single bullet. I have experienced having my basics and some of my challenges complete for some lengths of time, and those periods stand out in my life. Just existing with those things in order felt amazing. However, there will always be storms, and challenges will arise that throw life out of whack. Regardless, I always come back to this list as the foundation to build before considering more.
Sources
Title: Self-help books ‘can have the opposite effect’
Author: Unlisted
Title: The ‘Sweet Spot’ for Bedtime: Between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. Is Best for Heart Health
Author: Bob Curley
Title: How much physical activity do adults need?
Author: Unlisted
Source: https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/adults/index.htm